Emery Burton Christmas

Queen of CardsQueen of Cards

Greeting Cards

$16.50 per dozen wholesale
$2.75 each suggested retail

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Item #G-1
Inside: Bruce and Lionel were never quite the same after that foxhole incident.

Item #G-2
Inside: Bernice always found herself a little behind in her gardening.

Item #G-3
Inside: Mary and Grace were shocked to discover there wasn't a beach anywhere near to Kansas.

Item #G-4
Inside: Bob couldn't wait to see the looks on the faces at her class reunion.

Item #G-5
Inside: Over time, Delbert developed a close, but somewhat unnatural relationship with his hood ornament.

Item #G-6
Inside: Lurlene was first in her Red Hat Society to experience the unbridled excitement of no underwear.

Item #G-7
Inside: In spite of it all, Jeremy decided it was best for Lorraine to meet his ex.

Item #G-8
Inside: As a small boy, Carl never dreamed that one day he would be named Ice Princess.

International Greeting Card Awards
Louie Winner


Item #G-9
Front: Tell me, Edna, did you and Earl ever have mutual orgasm?
No... I think we had State Farm.
Inside: Blank


Item #G-10
Inside: In his heart, Bernard knew it would never work.

Item #G-11
Inside: Judy developed a most unusual attraction to Krispy Kreme.

Item #G-12
Inside: Arnold quivered with excitment when he made the girls' synchronized swim team.

Item #G-13
Inside: Enough of this Jurassic crap. The next time you're on leave, I'll book the vacation.

Item #G-14
Inside: Tiffany misunderstood when her date said let's go Dutch.

Item #G-15
Inside: Ike and Frieda flipped for first dibs on the new roadside commode.

Item #G-16
Inside: Of course there were raised eyebrows, but Derek was secure in his sexuality.

Item #G-17
Inside: Yes, it was highly irregular, but Jacob saw the real benefits of two husbands and two wives.

Item #G-18
Inside: After receiving her Christmas goose, Gretchen responded with a high C.

Item #G-19
Inside: Edward was secretly amused after winning the title of Miss Lubbock.

Item #G-20
Inside: The Missionettes were pumped and ready to kick butt for Jesus.

Item #G-21
Inside: It wasn't that Burl was too big for his britches. It's just that he had a small ass.

Item #G-22
Inside: Secretly, the others all viewed Orville as the weakest link.

Item #G-23
Inside: While waiting for a jump from AAA, Fannie found it increasingly difficult to suppress her roadside sexuality.

Item #G-24
Inside: Suddenly, Buford remembered he was in the witness protection program.

Item #G-25
Inside: Basil never fully recovered from that exploding poultry incident.

Item #G-26
Inside: Patiently, the Republicans waited for the arrival of the exotic lap dancers.

Item #G-27
Inside: The O'Malley's awaited breathlessly, the arrival of the folks from Architectural Digest.

Item #G-28
Inside: At their convention in Toronto, the Shriners were greeted by two hookers and a gay caballero.

Item #G-29
Inside: Voltage regulated. Amps adjusted. The Orgasmatron® was ready.

Item #G-30
Inside: It was well into the second act before Darlene discovered she had forgotten her castanets.

Item #G-31
Inside: Sometimes it occurred to Vera that Zeke viewed her merely as arm candy.

Item #G-32
Inside: Suddenly, we understood how Uncle Al got that arrow in his ass.

Item #G-33
Inside: Pearl and Lester the super glue addicts, moments before an intervention by the 7:05 bullet train.

Item #G-34
Inside: While fully embracing her femininity, Jasmine occasionally longed for her days as a lumberjack.

Item #G-35
Inside: As a Republican, Roger went to great lengths to protect his lacy underall secret.

Item #G-36
Inside: Well sure. Of course. But only during shore leave.

Item #G-37
Inside: Wow. Who would have thought it?

Item #G-38
Inside: The guests were shocked that Miles and Blaine had the nerve to wear white on their wedding day.

Item #G-39
Inside: Even when the trumpets blew, the Unitarians were amused by the thought of The Rapture.

Item #G-40
Inside: Oscar was pleased with the results of his penile implant.

Item #G-41
Inside:

Item #G-42
Inside: The Believers were unprepared for a ride that would take them precariously close to hell.


Item #G-43

Inside: From the campaign, Hillary’s advisors went back to their lives at WhoNeedsMen.net.


Item #G-44

Inside: Eventually, Walter realized medical science could only take him so far. Congratulations on your major new developments.


Item #QCG- 45

Inside: There was always something odd about the middle brother.


Item #QCG- 46

Front: Don’t let them tell you all wives do it.
Inside: Celebrate the occasion!

   

 

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