Nickel Short Greetings

Front:For your birthday I'm sending you a knight in shining armor...
Inside: ... although at this point you might prefer a good maid.

Front:Aunt Dorothy's suspicions grew when her missing birthday corsage showed up on Edith.
Inside: Happy Birthday

Front:Okay, we're ready...
Inside: ... blow out those candles. Happy Birthday

Front:For your birthday I took a cake decorating class.
Inside: The teacher was a vegetarian.

Front:Eleven cases of beer later, the Canadian Debate Team is still trying to decide your age...
Inside: Happy birthday to someone who always looks great.

Front:Doug bragged about the case of crabs he got from Big Sheila...
Inside: ...never mind what he gave her. Happy Birthday

Front: Happy birthday...
Inside: ... from your closest friend

Front:You can have anything you want for your birthday.
Inside: Even my first-born.

Front:Always an adventurer, Mickey agreed to have his birthday candles lit with a flaming arrow.
Inside: Happy Birthday. Hope this year brings you wonderful adventures.

Front:For your birthday I booked a last-minute vacation...
Inside: ...those frequent flyer miles just aren't what they used to be. Happy Birthday

Front:Happy Birthday!
Inside: I decided to kick start the celebration.

Front:On their birthdays, women need relaxation, presents, and attention.
Inside: Men just need attention. Happy Birthday

Front:Birthday greetings from Miss Canada.
Inside: Here she is beautifully turned out in the evening wear portion of the competition. Happy Birthday

Front:Mistakes happen.
Inside: Sorry I forgot your birthday.

Front:It's amazing how the right makeup can make you look young and beautiful.
Inside: Happy birthday to someone who always looks great.

Front:For your birthday I wanted to do something creative.
Inside: Next year I'll get you a present.

Front: On your birthday, given the choice between steak or chicken...
Inside: ...eat cake. Happy Birthday

Front:Frank decided the best way to treat a broken leg was to go white water rafting.
Inside: Can't surfing 500 channels be considered an extreme sport? Happy Birthday

Front:I'm cookin' for your birthday.
Inside: Wait till you see the cake. Happy Birthday

Front:Sorry I missed your birthday.
Inside: Photo taken outside kitchen after angel food cake mishap. Happy Belated Birthday

Item #NS-1079

Front:Congratulations on your birthday
Inside: You’re halfway to AARP.

Item #NS-1080

Front:Yes I missed your birthday...
Inside:...And now I’m on tour.

Item #NS-1083

Front:I can’t explain it. I was in a Paris bar, toasting your birthday with expensive champagne...
Inside:...next thing I was hungover, in a strange place, wearing somebody else’s shoes.

Item #NS-1090

Front:Debby was asked when she lost her virginity...
Inside:It haunted her that she just couldn’t place it. Happy Birthday!

Item #NS-1091

Front: Edna liked to experiment with extra-hold hairspray...
Inside: Hope your birthday’s a standout!

Item #NS-1005

Front: I’m sorry...
Inside: ...this much.

Item #NS-1007

Front: For your birthday I’ve decided to leave you my entire life savings...
Inside: (blank)

Item #NS-1008

Front: Lenny the world’s smartest dog...
Inside: ...knew his miserable performance in the math competition had ruined his reputation.

Item #NS-1009

Front: Missing you...
Inside:

Item #NS-1012

Front: The accounting firm of Moffit, Klein & Waxman really knew how to cut loose on weekends...
Inside: Hope you won’t be arrested on your birthday!

Item #NS-1014

Front: Emily's popularity suddently soared...
Inside: ... when she started wearing the Acme Easy Access skirt.
Hope your birthday's a breeze!

Item #NS-1016

Front: Early attempts at interstellar broadcasting...
Inside: (blank)

Item #NS-1018

Front: Nobody can fill your shoes...
Inside: (blank)

Item #NS-1019

Front: Contradictions...
Inside: (blank)

Item #NS-1021

Front: A crisp autumn day, a walk in the park...
Inside: ...and you. Happy Anniversary.

Item #NS-1023

Front: Thanks for your help...
Inside: ...I couldn’t have done it without you.

Item #NS-1024

Front: Ben has an amazing ability...
Inside: ...to run his car on coffee.

Item #NS-1025

Front: There are moments when water from a fountain tastes sweet, when your dreams are full of promise..
Inside: ...and you’re not afraid to wear plaid pants. For your birthday I wish you many of these moments.

Item #NS-1026

Front: When I need to talk...
Inside: ...no one listens better than you.

Item #NS-1028

Front: Fresh nail polish and sandals...
Inside: ...always make a girl feel good. Happy Birthday, honey!

Item #NS-1029

Front: Yesterday he was a cop, tomorrow he’s going to be a pirate...
Inside: ...but today he’s a fireman, and he’s climbing up to rescue a cat. Happy Birthday, dreamer!

Item #NS-1031

Front: No matter where I am...
Inside: ...I always think of you.

Item #NS-1032

Front: Frank was the first dog to graduate from dental school...
Inside: ...Congratulations graduate!

Item #NS-1033

Front: Some nights when it’s dark and there’s no one around...
Inside: ...the puppet ladies undo their strings, and dance exactly how they want.

Item #NS-1035

Front: It took some doing, but Bob finally convinced Shirley to sleep over...
Inside: (blank)

Item #NS-1037

Front: We’re an odd couple...
Inside: ...but somehow it works.

Item #NS-1038

Front: Dear Mom, here’s my new address...
Inside: ...please send some fire-proof pants and a big bottle of root beer.

Item #NS-1043

Front: Without you...
Inside: ...the world would be a big, empty place.

Item #NS-1046

Front: The good news is they’re increasing your benefits...
Inside: The bad news is you have to use their physicians. Get well soon!

Item #NS-1048

Front: You put your left foot out, you put your right foot out, no, wait...
Inside: Your right foot out, your left ear in...Good lord I’m getting excited! Happy Birthday!

Item #NS-1050

Front: Laura was very successful at bringing guests to her creek-side lodge...
Inside: ...Congratulations on your recent success.

Item #NS-1054

Front: Sammy the forgetful squirrel...
Inside: ...spent the whole morning trying to remember where he put his nuts.Wishing you a birthday to remember.

Item #NS-1055

Front: I hired the finest skywriter to wish you Happy Birthday...
Inside: ...unfortunately he was totally drunk. Have a good one!

Item #NS-1057

Front: Madame Zora should have seen it coming...
Inside: ...but I’ve got no excuse. Happy belated birthday.

Item #NS-1060

Front: The good thing about getting older...
Inside: ...is you can wear cheap comfortable panties and not give a damn.

Item #NS-1064

Front: Worried, I searched for your face in the crowd. Then there you were...
Inside: ...arms outstretched, running toward me, laughing.

Item #NS-1074

Front: I bought you an exotic dancer for your birthday (Rated X)...
Inside: ... but all I had on me was a five.

Item #NS-1075

Front: Honey, for your birthday I'm sending you a cute, cuddly guy who likes to dress up...
Inside: ...but he's wound a little tight.

Item #NS-1076

Front: I know exactly where your birthday present is. Exactly...
Inside: ... except it's not, like, totally exactly.

Item #NS-1078

Front: On your birthday, remember it's never too late to start something new...
Inside: Even Mildred's desire to be a tight end may not be out of the question.
Happy Birthday!